The Rugby Roast Idea

   OK, my idea is to do after dinner speeches specialising in the niche of taking the pish out of the members of a club. Let's take the example of a rowdy Rugby club dinner, perhaps the Annual player of the year awards or something like that. A week before the event you would email or write to the club secretary with a Pro Forma asking for players names that fit into these categories:

• Stupidest person
• Oldest player
• Anyone famous at the club.
• Any English players
• Any Virgins
• Tight players
• Drug takers
• Fat folk
• Womanisers
• Gay folk
• Bald players
• Anyone in the club whose done time

Also:

• Antics from the last tour.
• Someone who is not going to be at the event. They could be the butt of your crudest jokes.

Once you've received this proforma back you would build a routine around the information you've been given alongside the usual platitudes at the start and end of the speech.

I'm sure that anyone could build a 5 to 10min routine using this material.

It's not something I would jump into but it should be easy to get practice by speaking up at whichever clubs you are currently a member of. I'm sure they would allow you a little bit of practice.