Life of Logic

   If you are making money through dribbles then you also want to make sure that you are not wasting money in your household. You want to make sure that not too much of the money flowing into your wallet is not draining out through the plughole. Here are some of the things going through my mind:

• Live as close to your main place of work as possible in order to keep commuting costs down.
• Walk to work if you can.
• Use a Carpet sweeper rather than a hoover.
• Wash your clothes in the sink with soap flakes.
• Take Navy showers.
• Ditch the TV - biggest waste of time going. Everything worth watching is now available on the net.
• Ditch the fridge. Buy fresh.
• Go with wood fuelled hot water.
• Ditch the home phone. Give out your mobile number.
• Get a PAYG mobile.
• Wear a bib when you eat - half of my washing is down to food stains.
• If you can get away with it, wear clothes that don't crease - jumpers, track suits, overalls.
• If you need a vehicle, opt for LPG.
• Wage war on Electric lighting. Are candles cheaper for reading in the winter.
• Get a brick in your cistern.
• If it's brown flush it down. If it's yellow let it mellow.
• Use a dedicated sponge or rags to wipe your arse. If that is taking things a bit too far then nick bog roll from work.
• Nick paper, pens and all stationery requirements from work/ the Bookies/ Argos.
• Don't bother with carpets or wallpaper - they're for posh folks.
• Rent out any space you can. Spare room, settee, floor space. There are some real desperados out there.
• You are your own gym. Anyone who pays £40 for a gym membership needs psychological help.
• 15 mins housework per day is enough for any household.
• Make sure every inch of garden space is getting used productively: Shed storage, green house, raised beds etc.
• Never leave the clock running on a DVD player/ Cooker/ Microwave/ Alarm etc. They are all burning Electricity for no apparent reason.
• Don't bother with alarm clock at all - use your mobile and charge that up at work.
• Go for a Clockwork radio.
• Get your council tax single person allowance sorted.
• Eat raw where possible.
• Go double duvet in the winter.
• Soap is just as good as shampoo and shower gel.
• Don't drink tea or coffee.

   Obviously the majority of these are set up for Single men. Bang! I've just knocked your monthly Utility bill in half - at least.