What if Kate Middleton was a traitor Spy?

   If you ever get the chance look up a guy called Chas Newkey-Burden. This man pumps out trash Celebrity biographies every few months – and they sell (why else would he keep on doing them?). Fair play to him. I doth my hat.  

   In my opinion his writing style is relatively easy to copy. If you think about it, 6 x 200pg books in 2 years means he is knocking them out at the giddy pace of one every 16 weeks – 12 pages a day. I think that he does this by spinning out a lot of the Google alerts he gets on his targets. He also writes up what he sees on screen. In my opinion of course.

   This style could be adapted to create trash fiction for sale on the Kindle. To give things a spin you'd need to take a well reported event or life and then spin a story around it - think Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

   Basically you take a well reported series of events and then build a story around them. This is easy to write as every second chapter will just be lifted from news reports. I’ll give you an example. Let’s pretend that Kate Middleton was actually a Russian Sleeper Spy. Her parents had been recruited by the KGB back in the 80’s when they lived in Jordan for 3 years (they don’t talk about that in the papers very often do they?). The deal had always been that they would try to push their children into Royal circles. Hence their eldest daughter had been sent all the way from Berkshire to study at St Andrews University (how often does that happen?). Pippa had been sent to Edinburgh as that was the other Uni that William was possibly going to attend. Isn’t it a bit strange that two Middle Class girls from rural Bucks moved so easily into the circles of the uber-rich? Not really when you consider that they had been being groomed for it since birth. Does a party planner and an Air Traffic Controller really make enough to have a 5 Bedroom house with wine cellar and private grounds in the Stockbroker belt? Remember Carole was brought up in a South London council flat. She’s went from Nelson Mandela House to Buck House in 25 years. In my story I would take all the news reports of Kate and Will’s courtship and intermingle it with the tale of a shadowy figure who threatens to expose the Middleton plot. I would have the subterfuge building up to the Wedding Day when the Blackmailer plans to spill the beans at the ceremony. For the set piece events like the announcement of the engagement or the Wedding day itself I would be using direct commentary from YouTube videos. Think Dan Brown meets David Icke.

   In a sense Nigel Tranter books (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigel_Tranter) were basically a story woven around historical facts – and he was rich enough to be living in a fantastic castle by the time of his death. The same could be said for Ian Rankin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Rankin) crime novels. A few I’ve read have clearly been based around actual events. One was clearly based on the Bible John murders. The truth is truly stranger than fiction.

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